Chapter 7: Match.com
I’m pretty great. A real catch. I’m pretty and smart and ambitious and creative and sometimes I even say things that make people laugh. You might be a catch too.
But I’m not for everyone.
And neither are you.
Placing two equally pretty, smart, funny people in a room together does not necessarily equal a good match. Because no one can predict chemistry.
When two people meet for the first time—friendly or otherwise—there is a unique chemistry that’s created on the spot. And every pairing—friendly or otherwise—creates their own unique combined chemistry. Maybe it’s energy. Maybe it’s pheromones. But there’s an immediate instinct we have about one another. A gut feeling.
When we meet someone for the first time, we know immediately if we’re going to click. Or if we’re not. Sometimes it takes more than one meeting, but for the most part, our gut instinct is pretty accurate.
Mushrooms, like pheromones, are not created equal. And when the two of you come together, this will create a unique blend. I recommend you go on a few dates before you choose a longterm psilocybin partner. You have to feel each mushroom’s energy and see how it works with your own. What kind of chemistry the two of you create together. I can give you a rundown of my own experiences so far, but yours will surely be different.
You must do a series of taste tests.
I’ve tried a few strains in my quest to find my personal perfect mushroom. On only my second try, we found each other. She is called Huautla. Unlike other strains, I feel this one in my skin. She tickles. Like the very air is hugging me. With Huautla, I feel a deep love blossoming in my heart for those around me. The feeling is akin to a low dose of MDMA. She makes me giggle (and I am not a girl who giggles). She is my shepherd, leading me across vast plains and out of my own head. And she stays with me the longest.
Long after her chemistry has left my body, I still feel her when I look at my loved ones, or the projects in my studio, even my cats. I love them all. That’s what she has shown me. That I possess deep rooted love. A childlike love that requires nothing. No expectations. No daunting worries. Just love.
They say you always remember your first. My first mushroom had the loveliest, most lyrical name in all the land: Penis Envy. That’s what it was called. There are some strains that have a reputation for their intense visuals, and others for inducing introspection, though the right dose of any mushroom will cover both angles. Penis Envy leans more toward the visual category, and is the typical mushroom strain for recreational use (at least based on the conversations I’ve had). Long ago, my first (and fairly unpleasant; I’ll cover that later) experience with mushrooms came from Penis Envy. And years later, when I entered this brave new world for the second time, Penis Envy held the door for me.
I was nervous at first. But we talked. Everything’s cool now.
My first Beach Dose, and ensuing cormorant experience, was with Penis Envy. Even at only a dose of .6 grams of powdered dry mushroom, she is potent. Penis Envy changed my life for the better that day. But she can be a bit much. I would liken my experience with Penis Envy to being very stoned (and I am not a girl who likes to get stoned). If I dance with Penis Envy, I am down and out for the rest of the day, so I must plan accordingly. But she has her charms.
The other strain I’ve dabbled in is called The Golden Teacher, and she is widely known for her mild side. The Golden Teacher introduces feelings of oneness and connectivity. She is gentle, and I can still navigate my day on her doses. At a Beach Dose (.6 grams), she provides the delight I’ve experienced with Penis Envy without making my body feel like it’s 5,000 pounds. Without that couch-locked, sinking to the ground feeling. The Golden Teacher is pretty. She’s smart and funny and looks great on paper. But our chemistry isn’t perfect. I find her a little boring, if I’m being honest. So I keep her in the Friend Zone.
These are only a few examples.
In this grand, bountiful world, there are plenty of mushrooms. So many different strains have been discovered, and likely many yet still to be unearthed. If you are considering a mushroom journey of your very own, keep your options open. Don’t accept what’s handed to you as the end-all-be-all mushroom. The experiences of psilocybin mushrooms are all similar, of course, but each will bring its unique and subtle chemistry to the proverbial table.
And to you.
Huautla and I are in love. And you, too, should seek your own perfect mushroom match.
It’s worth it.
And you deserve it.
Because you’re a catch.
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